Acceptance. Down By Your Grave…

Something that played on my mind over and over…

I couldn’t bear being the one out of us two who got a ‘good life’ without having to endure the amount of suffering you went through, it wasent fair to me that you had to suffer so much on earth and although yes I did suffer as we all do in some way/form dimension or another, it just didn’t seem fair to me that at the time you had to go through so much more suffering in your human life than I had ever gone through.
Subconsciously until I had suffered as much as you and until I fully understood your suffering, nothing on this earth In my human form mattered. Even if it was supossed to be the happiest day of ‘my life’ it wasent. The guilt of feeling happy without you there always caved in on me and gobbled me up in the end. Just how sisters would fight and get childishly jealous but in complete reverse. I was jealous for you that you were not alive in your body anymore. I was numb of all emotion until I would move no more. Stubborn as hell, without being shown your path and journey.

Thank you thank you thank you. The gratitude I have now for life is immense.
Now I have been shown and know every single feeling right down to the very atom and molecule from which that feeling evolved from,
I understand you and in understanding you, your spirit your soul, your humanity I understand so much more than I ever could have imagined about myself and human nature, and I will use it. By god I will use it for the rest of my time here on earth in human form.

And when my time comes to transition out of human form… well I am no longer afraid for I have already been there and done so, all because of you, my soul sister, my spirit sister, the other half of me, πŸ’—

I am free of my demons because of you ……….πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’Ÿβš›οΈπŸ’Ÿβš›οΈπŸ’Ÿβš›οΈ

My Sister My Mollie B πŸ€—πŸ€—

 

I believe this was the last stage of my grief for mollie, the acceptance stage πŸ€—

Me and my family celebrated her 23rd by the beach down in Cornwall this October and sent her a message out to sea in a bottle.

It was so beautiful, Β peaceful, profound and poignant… knowing her energy lives on and is so powerful and attainable to us and everyone else, fills us with the deepest sense of inner contentment and peace πŸ’—Β and hopefully spreads a sense of hope and eternity to all those we know and love πŸ’—

2 thoughts on “Acceptance. Down By Your Grave…

  1. Beautifully written, I am glad that you have freed yourself of those demons and now you will be able to carry on your journey remembering and sensing all the good things about being a sister and soul mate. Enjoy the light of Mole’s spirit that will live on through you and your Mum xxx

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  2. My heart goes out to you and your family for everything you have been though . Although the road you have travelled has been long and hard it will give you an insight into the suffering faced by people that have experienced hardship and challenges in life and enable you to understand and be empathetic . A skill that many people struggle with . You are a wonderful lovely person Lauren and I know Mollie will have been proud to be your sister . Mollie will live on through your spirit and will be saying you ,go girl, in everything you do . As a result everything you attempt will be doubly incredible.
    Lots and lots of love to you and your family
    Karlene
    Xxx

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